Whimsical Wednesday: April Fools' Edition

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: In observation of April Fools' Day, I'm going to transcribe one of the more ludicrous examples my early 80's zany young teen creativity. As with this entire series, I often cringe when I copy those original notes. It is against my better judgment to reveal such silliness from a bygone era. But here goes.

"The target goes under a strange transformation, his hands become duck feet, his feet become snapping crocodile heads, his butt becomes a fat man's face, his eyes are attached to springs, his lips turn black, in his mouth is a mechanical set of chattering teeth, his nose turns into a bright red blinking light bulb, a loudspeaker appears on his head, and all of his items become Lawfully Good aligned. Then, the crocodiles, the man, and the loudspeaker begin shouting out: "Orcus, Demogorgon, Hastur, Cthulhu, Arioch, Xiombarg!" They continue in that manner until someone appears, then they shout "I want to have your Baby!" Then the target is instantly teleported to safety, where the process happens again, but this time, instead of saying all the names, he only says the one of which appeared. If he appears again, they will shout out the afflicted's true name, and then the insult, and then teleport to safety, this time the target returns to normal, all except for his nose."

I'm fairly sure this whimsey was never rolled in play. It's the 20 result from Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2. It was the last whimsey I wrote way back when. It definitely needs to be filed in the WTF Where You Thinking category. Ah well, luckily not everything I wrote back then has become useless.

With that I will prematurely end the current Whimsical Wednesday series approach and begin constructing a new 20 or more result Whimsey Table for use in my modern games. Future Whimsical Wednesdays will feature these until the final table may be presented.

Have a Whimsical Wednesday!

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 6, 19.

"A random limb is switched with the identical limb of a random animal or person."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday!

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 9, 51.

"The Gods of Mar-Vexia (Davey the Red, Rickey of Roop and Larry of Roop) are personally insulted by this whimsey."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday!

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 10, 11.

"All of target's items (magic only) combine into a great red and purple Grabblefootz."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday!

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 7, 57.

"Target Ages backwards from here on."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday!

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 7, 87.

"Roll of Godly Grant Co. Life Savers (roll d8: 1: random reincarnation, 2: all attacks are critical, 3: life saver becomes 2' diameter, 4: doubles all damage, 5: triples all damage, 6: slowed, 7: acts as normal, 8: instant death)."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 7, 30.

"Target turns into a fire hydrant, and 100 poodles appear."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 11, 8.

"Target turned into a large, bright orange, easy chair (with abilities to match)."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 9, 90.

"The Periodic Tavern of Temporal Adventurers appears."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 3, 79.

“Target floats uncontrollably for 1 day.”

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 6, 24

"Congratulations! You are now married to (and in love with) a Donkey."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 9, 10

"Target has been summoned by an unknown force on an unknown plane to do an unknown deed."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Whimsical Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I’ll roll on the table below, and then on the indicated Whimsey Table, and share the exact wording found in my very crude often ridiculous 25 year old handwritten notes from the early 80’s.

Random Whimsey Determination Table (2d6)

2-4 Basic Whimsey Chart (d00)
5-7 New Whimsey Chart (d00)
8-10 Nyark Ripplesnap’s Whimsey Channel (d00)
11 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #1 (d20)
12 Gorfaxio Gondoro’s Whimsey Table #2 (d20)

Today’s Roll: 4, 71.

"1000 white rabbits stream out of target's hat, pockets or backpack."

Have a Whimsical Wednesday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Arduin, Whacky Arduin

With the impending fourth issue of Fight On!, the news that it was going to be dedicated to David Hargrave got me thinking about some of the crazy Arduin antics my old gaming crew and I enjoyed back in the early 80’s. Arduin is remembered for many things, but I think chief among them is the infamous pair of tables from Volume I, The Critical Hit Table (p. 60) and Hargrave’s Fumble Table (p. 61). While my gaming crew enjoyed these pillars of Hargravian gaming, we spent an inordinately long amount of time delving into the possibilities of one of the lesser known touches of Hargrave Gonzo, the Whimsey. It was a fairly innocent entry in that same Volume I (p. 47) that started it all:

“WHIMSEY WINE: When drunk, anything can happen. The user might become hasted, or turn blue! The dungeon master should have a “whimsey chart” with 20 or more things that can happen, and roll on it.”

That’s all it said, but in those heady days of homebrew madness, I ran with this theme for many months during our campaign. It got to be a bit much after a while, and the whole thing was pure adolescent silliness. Before I was done, I had written five (maybe more) tables of Whimsies, made a playable Whimsey-casting character class, brewed up countless Whimsey magic items, and pretty much made the players dread the damn things after a while. More than one game session devolved into hilarity when multiple Whimsies began going off and the player’s characters got zero adventuring done, no experience, and no treasure. But damn did we manage to have a ton of laughs.

So, in remembrance, I just went earlier today to my gaming closet, and found that tattered old yellow folder crammed with handwritten notes for Arduin. The surviving tables are these:

Basic Whimsey Chart (100 random effects)
New Whimsey Chart (89 random effects)
Nyark Ripplesnap's Whimsey Channel (100 random effects)
Gorfaxio Gondoro's Whimsey Table #1 (20 high level random effects)
Gorfaxio Gondoro's Whimsey Table #2 (20 high level random effects)

As well as The Mar-Vexian Mage, Mar-Vexian Spell Table and notes, and even the Mar-Vexian Super Soldier (a Techno-Whimsey class).

The notes from 25 years ago, or longer, are now embarrassingly revealing. There’s some really whacky stuff in these tables. Much of it is just plain stupid. But somehow it worked wonders back then. In retrospect, the Whimsey was probably the single most important tidbit of Arduin for our wide-eyed gaming group, and it all started with an unassuming jug of Whimsey Wine.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee