Showing posts with label dim expanse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dim expanse. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Buried Treasure!

(First the old buried treasure) After several requests (well, a few anyway...is 2 a few?) for your viewing pleasure I have added links to my pdf's hosted at mediafire of those little buggers that got that whole OSR One-Page craze cooking a couple years back. Primitive in hindsight, The Dismal Depths original four-pack is now nothing more than an OSR historical footnote of sorts. After all, two years in the blogosphere is downright ancient at this point. Links are on the right under SHAM'S OD&D STUFF. Kudos to ChicagoWiz for crafting that template for me! I also added the old Dismal Depths Traps tables link. Use at your own risk.

(And the new buried treasure), There's another file added now, something new for your megadungeons titled Dungeon Treasure Maps.

What are Dungeon Treasure Maps? Let me explain. Some time back I rambled on about the possibilities of the Maps category of items included in the Treasure Types section of Vol. II. While these were intended more for wilderness adventure, the idea always tickled my fancy. I finally sat down and bashed out a system of similar maps for underworld adventures, called Dungeon Treasure Maps.

It includes some columns and tables so won't copy over well to blogger, but here are a few bits from the single-page file in case you are curious.

"Dungeon Treasure Maps are a special type of item. When the characters decipher such a map, through use of a Read Languages spell if needed, the Ref rolls on the appropriate tables and places the heretofore undiscovered secret location of the treasure trove. It is impossible to find this secret trove before the map in question is deciphered."

"How Trove is Hidden
d00
01-20: Buried: Need Picks and Shovels
21-36: Under Loose Stones: Need Pry-bars
37-50: Behind Wall: Need Sledge Hammer
51-64: Behind Locked Panel: Need Key or Lock-picker
65-73: Sealed Door: Need Hammer and Pry-bars
74-82: Sealed Door (G): Need Hammer and Pry-bars
83-91: Locked Stairwell: Need Key or Lock-picker
92-00: Locked Stairwell (G): Need Key or Lock-picker
(G): Guardians - typically Undead, Golems or other such Monsters able to lie dormant."

"Notes: Tracking down lost or buried treasure should be an exciting endeavor for the players and their characters. There's always a chance they will hit the proverbial mother-lode. Special preparations might be in order for recovering these troves, and keep in mind the noise created from all of the excavating is sure to attract the hungry and/or curious."

So there you have the buried treasure, something old and something new.

~Sham

Monday, February 28, 2011

Spicing Up Stairways

It's been a while. Today is the unofficial blog birthday here at Ye Auld Grog and Blog so something needs to be posted today.

Here's a table I put together to allow you to add some tension to your next megadungeon sessions. Most games I've seen treat stairways as just so much dungeon-dressing. Use this to keep your players on their collective toes. Just don't use this for every single stairway unless you're a true sadist. Maybe a 2in6 chance but you be the judge.

Shrunk the text a bit to keep it all single line in blogger.

Spicing Up Stairways

01-03: Pit, All Pits (d6) 1-3: 10', 4,5: 20', 6: 30' in depth. These things never grow old.
04: Spiked Pit, roll 1d6 for extra damage. On a 6 roll again and add (result -1) to 6.
05: Poison-spiked Pit, as above then save or die. Someone really wants these intruders dead.
06: Flooded Pit, last time I checked armor still doesn't float. At all.
07: Crusher Pit, prepare to become dungeon graffiti.
08: Holding Pit, snaps shut and can't be opened normally. Somewhere a dinner bell rings.
09: Bottomless Pit, depth as above but use 6d6. Or more. How bottomless do you want it?
10: Double Pits, there's another pit waiting to be sprung. Maybe these things do grow old.
11-12: Sleep Gas, All Gas is invisible, slow-acting vapor. Canaries are immune to the stuff.
13-14: Poison Gas, shoulda rolled up a Canary.
15-16: Rotting Gas, lose one hit per hour until face falls off.
17-18: Delirium Gas, adventurers become acid-tripping hippies.
19-20: Maddening Gas, acute paranoia, violence, that bastard Hobbit is out to get you!
21-23: Darts, All Dart volleys cause 3d3 damage in a wide cone. Unarmored victims take +3.
24-25: Poison Darts, adding insult to injury since 1974.
26: Acid Darts, deals 4d3 instead. Armored victims start rolling item saves.
27: Capturing/Crushing Ceiling, adventurers become trapped and prepare for pain.
28: Capturing/Crushing Walls, as above but ever so slightly more forgiving. Or not.
29: Capturing/Crushing Ceiling w/ Spikes, a masterpiece of dungeon engineering.
30: Capturing/Crushing Walls w/ Spikes, are all the pointy things really necessary here?
31: Capturing/Flooding, there's a drain/fill valve hidden somewhere...right?
32: Capturing/Feeding, in 1d6 turns something big and hungry shows up. Or slithers in.
33-35: Alarm, the arrival of the party to the next level is loudly announced.
36-37: Flaming Oil, jets of slippery oil, ignited in a fireball, thick smoke, roasted intruders.
38: Spider-Blower, large fan sends clouds of upset black widows right at the poor delvers.
39: Snake-Ejector, with a click hidden panels open and drop one angry asp on each character.
40: Scorpion-Bomb, down the steps rolls a sphere with a lit fuse. Boom! Scorpion surprise!
41-43: Slide, All Slides incorporate steps that rotate into a slippery ramp. Quite ingenious.
44: Slide to Pit Below, if the buggers won't trip my trap I'll send them into it! Pick a Pit.
45: Slide and Hollywood Trap, yep – a boulder is rolling down the slide behind ya.
46: Slide to Monster, some enterprising young Monster has set up shop at the bottom.
47-48: Greased, tarnation! some fool done greased this stairway with pig-fat.
49-50: Chute, All Chutes deposit intruders deeper into the dungeon. 1d3+1 levels works.
51: Chute to Holding Cell, maybe something will come check soon. Maybe not.
52: Chute to Pool, for fun toss in piranhas or crocodiles.
53: Chute to Trap, usually a Capturing/Crushing room but there's a secret door. Possibly.
54: Chute to Monster, maybe it's sleeping. Either way the key to get out is around its neck.
55: Web-choked, annoying as all get out.
56: Smoke-filled, some wiseacre lit a bag of Monster-crap down there. It acts like Tear Gas.
57: Fungus-caked, the Clean-up Crew missed this. You might contract Dungeon-Rot here.
58: Bone-scattered, something's been tossing left-overs in here. Haunted by Undead? Yes!
59-60: Partially Caved-in, great care required. Possible collapse. A Dwarf would help.
61-62: Caved-in, pretty much just a dead end. Feel free to excavate it. Takes 200 man-hours.
63-64: Flooded, some moron filled this stairwell with water. A drain/fill valve is at the bottom.
65-67: False w/ Secret Door, to exit-less room. Fill as desired. Real steps hidden in stairwell.
68-70: Trapped w/ Secret Door, as above. Past the Secret Door is a trap and dead end. Hah!
71-72: Sentry, these blokes won't pursue, they will however defend the stairway to the end.
73-74: Toll, some way too powerful Monster extorts gold from delvers here.
75-76: Barricade, blocked by piles of Dungeon Junk. Is something besides junk in there?
77-78: Dead People, whatever killed them didn't bother to eat them. Just took their gear.
79: Lost Adventurer, the little blighter has lost his way. Might he be responsible for 77-78?
80: Madman, raving mad. The Monsters like to poke him with a stick. He collects iron spikes.
81: Portcullis, Well crud! There's a locked Portcullis blocking the way.
82: Locked Doors, heavy double-doors prevent passage. Something nearby has the key I bet.
83: Teleport to New Stairway, old tricks are often the best. No chance the dorks notice.
84: Teleport to Lonely Prison, an extremely accurately named location the Lonely Prison.
85: Teleport to Random Level, chances are 93.7% that it will be to a deeper level of course!
86-88: Random Monster from Level Below, just roll on a table.
89-91: Random Monster from Level Above, just pick from a table.
92-94: Ambushing Monster from Level Below, just pick from a fanzine.
95-97: Ambushing Monster from Level Above, just make something up already.
98-00: Clean-up Crew Member Cleaning, it's going to be upset you tracked dirt in here.



~Sham

Friday, January 22, 2010

Gold: Lifeblood of the Underworld

Why Adventurers seek it, Dragons hoard it and Goblins idolize it.

Gold is woven into the very fabric of the fantasy role-playing campaign, often being the catalyst for adventure. Characters pursue gold because it is a means to an end for their goals, providing experience and wealth in order to realize greater power within the framework of the campaign world. Gold is, after all, power.

Adventuring characters gain experience through the wealth they extract from the underworld. As detailed in The First Fantasy Campaign by Dave Arneson, adventurers in the initial version of what was to become D&D were required to spend their plundered gold pursuing certain motivations in order to gain experience from it.

Gold allows experienced adventurers to bring order to the wilderness on the surface through the construction of strongholds. The forces of Law desire the plundering of gold from the clutches of Chaos in the underworld that they might spread the will of man across the land.

To further their own cause and maintain their grasp in the fantasy campaign, Chaos must oppose these efforts. He who has the gold makes the rules in a manner of speaking.

The underworld itself relies on gold, its presence attracts and emboldens monsters while luring adventurers into the unexplored reaches below. The absence of gold can lead to a dungeon's dormancy or perhaps eventual abandonment. Gold is the lifeblood of the underworld.

With the assumption that gold is more then mere currency, allow certain monsters in the fantasy campaign to become more powerful based on the amount of gold they are able to amass or otherwise keep hidden within the underworld. The underworld will often reward their efforts much in the manner that adventurers are rewarded for capturing and spending gold.

Goblin Hordes: Keeping the Lifeblood flowing

At the far end of the gold/underworld spectrum are the lowly Goblins. Being an abomination of fae-blood and spawned from the very Chaos of the underworld, Goblins find themselves attuned to gold in a manner not shared by most beings. It is their duty to keep this lifeblood of the underworld flowing, and they do so in a number of ways. Goblins place gold above all other motivations because it is one of the surest means of survival in the dark pits they call home.

Nocturnal surface raids, kidnappings and general Goblin mayhem assure that gold is always entering their world from the surface, robbing the forces of Law even if in but a small manner. Following this flow of gold are adventurers who seek to reclaim that which the Goblins have absconded with from above. The forces below value the activities of the Goblins in luring over-dwellers to their demise, and appreciate the fealty often paid to them by these dungeon underlings.

Goblins garner the benefits of gold as a collective, not individually. A typical Goblin community, or tribe for lack of a better word, consists of 40-400 Goblins as well as a King with 5-30 Guards. The King and Guards form the unit which gains a rudimentary type of experience, while the standard Goblins enjoy greater numbers and more powerful leadership.

Goblins do not earn any benefits from simply hoarding gold; removing it from circulation is how they are able to benefit from gold. Here are some possible methods through which Goblins may gain experience from plundered gold:

Goblin Gold Disposal Methods
Bury/Hide: The intent was to use it later but it is forgotten. Map optional.
Sacrifice: In pagan worship, dropped into a mindless monstrosity's lair or deep hole.
Recast: Typically into pagan idols, sometimes into nose-cleaners and the like.
Distribute: As long as the gold goes deeper into the dungeon, either as fealty, payment or tribute, and falls into the clutches of something more capable of guarding it.

Goblin tribes do not begin to gain experience until they have established a lair, with King and Guards, and subsequently disposed of 8,000 gold. At that time the King and Guards will continue to accrue experience. Individual Goblin Kings and Guards will be replaced if they perish, with no penalty, but if the entire royal court is slain the tribe loses all of its accumulated experience.

Goblin Hordes increase in membership while the King and Guards become more powerful based upon an accumulation of experience earned through gold disposal. These scores are tracked in increments called Goblin Horde Ranks, detailed below.

Goblin Horde Ranks
I – 8K: +25 Goblins, +1 Guard, K&G: AC 5, HD 1+1, SA: Max hits.
II – 16K: +50 Goblins, +2 Guard, K&G: AC 5, HD 2, SA: RT Saves.
III – 32K: +75 Goblins, +3 Guards, K&G: AC 4, HD 2+1, SA: RT To Hit.
IV – 64K: +100 Goblins, +4 Guards, K&G: AC 4, HD 3, SA: RT Damage.
V – 128K: +125 Goblins, +5 Guards, K&G: AC 3, HD 3+1, SA: Lucky.
VI – 256K+: +150 Goblins, +6 Guards, K&G: AC 3, HD 4, SA: Two Lives.

K&G: Stats for the King and Guards. King and Guards all possess Move 9 and +1 Morale, regardless of Rank. The Special Ability (SA) is only learned by the King himself, and all six are cumulative.

King Special Abilities: RT (Roll Twice, using the higher result), Lucky (King can Save vs Death to avoid a killing blow), Two Lives (King will spring from the dead once, fully healed).

Gains in tribe members are cumulative across the periods of growth. For example, a tribe at Horde Size IV would have gained 250 Goblins and 10 Guards, its King and Guards would fight with an increased level of expertise (AC 4 and HD 3).

Keep in mind that the King and Guards will often make use of any magic items found or captured if at all possible. Optionally, if gold disposal is focused in the methods of Sacrifice and Recasting into pagan idols a tribe might also realize members with shamanistic or anti-cleric abilities. These Shamans can replace Guards, or complement them.

Dragon Hoards: Establishing Hearts of Adventure

While Goblins keep the Lifeblood flowing, Dragons and potentially other powerful underworld denizens benefit from the hoards of gold they are able to establish and protect. These hoards create hubs of power, or hearts of adventure. Fed by the flow of gold above and around them, these hearts increase in size through a steady influx of wealth.

Dragons long ago learned the importance of gold, the mythical element. By hoarding wealth Dragons were able to realize greater power while preventing the growth of Law. While Dragons may take a stance of Chaos or Neutrality, and even Law in the case of Gold Dragons, they are normally opposed to the spread of civilized man as his influence sweeps across their ancestral lands. Given the ferocity and cunning of many dragons it is only natural that they are often able to collect vast amounts of gold. This then is the motivation for Dragons, by hoarding gold they gain a limited form of experience which impacts their existence in the fantasy campaign.

Dragons establish a proper Hoard much in the way characters build a stronghold; by gaining experience and using wealth. In the case of the Dragon, experience of this sort is a measure of surviving to the very old age of 100 years. The Dragon may have been accumulating wealth in its younger days, but the proper establishment of a Hoard requires a suitable lair, boasting 70,000 gold or more, and the aforementioned age requirement. Once the proper Hoard is established and cultivated the Dragon will begin to acquire greater power while attracting followers.

Dragon Hoard Ranks use a total gold equivalent value which includes copper, silver, gold, gems and jewels. The collection and massing of this wealth is measured in the increments detailed below:

Dragon Hoard Ranks
I – 70K: Followers: 30 HD. Growth: Maximum HD if not already very large.
II - 140K: Followers: 60 HD. Toughness: 7 hp/HD.
III - 210K: Followers: 120 HD. Prowess: Bite deals double damage.
IV - 280K: Followers: 180 HD. Resilience: +2 on all saves.
V - 350K: Followers: 240 HD. Fearsome Breath: penalizes saves by 3.
VI - 420K+: Followers: 300 HD. Long-winded: able to breathe 4 times per day.

Dragons surviving the loss of their Hoard will not lose their special abilities immediately but may stand a chance to watch their followers abandon them. Hoard-less Dragons so pilfered of their wealth will do everything within their power to reclaim their gold and riches. Such Hoard-less Dragons will begin to watch their experience-earned power wane over time. Subdued Dragons on the other hand will lose their special abilities once their wealth is captured and they are removed from the underworld.

* * *

The above Horde and Hoard benefits are just basic ideas; there's certainly much more that can be dreamed up to flesh out this concept of the gold/underworld system and the advantages earned by the monsters propagating it.

Just a little something I've been bashing about and I thought I'd share for your enjoyment on a rainy Friday.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Morkevagten Dim Troldes

The notes from my hard drive which inspired the homebrew treatment of Trolls posted yesterday is copied below. As mentioned, this is a collection of ideas intended to flesh out Calithena's Dark Trolls in the FO! group megadungeon project. I renamed them from Dark Troll to Dim Trolde when I realized I had let the information get a bit out of control. Eventually this Trolde tribe will find a home in a future dungeon. As you can see, some of the planned areas for the level are in italics, such as the Endless Mines, Smelting Pits, Grand Smithy, Fungus Farms, Central Brewery, Muumilaakso, and Raptor Holes. The dungeon is half-way written just from these notes.









Morkevagten Dim Troldes

The Uklartrolde (Dim Trolde) of Ulin-Uthor are an expansive, extended subterranean tribe. Their kind clawed their way to dominance within these ancient tunnels and caves before mankind ever set foot upon the barren lands above. This tribe, called the Morkevagten, has, through the ages, developed a somewhat advanced, in underworld terms, societal structure. The Morkevagten have developed the crafts of mining and smelting, bronze working, masonry and architecture, rat and raptor husbandry, currency, fungus brewing and distilling, and, perhaps most importantly, slavery and extortion.

Most of the Morkevagten labor is performed by slaves, and much of their continued income is derived from extortion. The Dim Troldes demand gold from the various intelligent inhabitants of Ulin-Uthor, in return for protection. Those that do not pay are thrown into slavery, or eaten. The Morkevagten also have agents who perform these same duties on the surface world; rounding up potential slaves, and extorting local businesses, in exchange for various rewards. These agents range from all manner of goblin kin to evil men threatening to ‘bring down the wrath of the Troldes’ upon their intimidated victims. These are not always hollow threats, as the Dim Troldes do from time to time raid the surface to gather slaves, and pillage nearby areas. These raids are more or less a show of strength in order to maintain their stature in and around Ulin-Uthor. The Morkevagten are still, despite the civilized trappings, an evil, corrupt and selfish lot, prone to theft, betrayal and murder within their very tribe. Station in the Morkevagten is not through birthright, but through wealth and power. The Dim Troldes spend more time dealing with threats from their own kin than those from the world around them. It is hard to dispute the fact that the Morkevagten have risen to power in spite of themselves, but their kind is certainly not to be taken lightly.

Mining, Smelting and Bronze working:
Ginkul: Copper, Rikaa: Tin, Vaett: Bronze.
Chalcocite, cassiterite and native copper minerals are mined by Scourge driven Slaves, in a complex, haphazard series of vertical shafts and galleries in the Endless Mines. The shafts follow the ores far below, as deep as 75 feet in some cases. Ore crushing is performed in the galleries with heavy stones, then hauled up to storage pits before being transported to the furnaces. Raptor-stomach bellows are used to stoke the charcoal fueled, clay lined, sandstone furnaces in the Smelting Pits to allow the Slags to produce ingots of copper (ginkul) and tin (rikaa), which are then combined again to produce bronze (vaett). The bronze is poured into molds then worked with hammer, tongs and anvil by a Sapper in the Grand Smithy.

Arms and Armor:
All Trolde Arms & Armor are forged in Bronze.
Lamellar: Hauberks of interlinking bronze scales, equal to AC 5.
Plate Armor: Hammered bronze chest pieces equal to AC 3.
Embossed Morelwood Shield: Round shields with hammered bronze facing.
Weaponry: includes Daggers, Swords, Maces, Axes and Spears, the Spear being more or less a light lance used from a mounted position, never as a missile. Dim Troldes might also employ heavy weighted Throwing Nets and Bolas; both of sinew and bronze weights, serving as the only actual missile weapons of the Morkevagten.

Currency:
Saard Rod (SR): Recast gold coins formed in the Smelting Pits into small rod shaped ingots. Each is worth 10 GP. Wt. ½ lb.
Ginkul Ingot (GI): Flat copper ingots from the Smelting Pits. Often used as currency, each is worth 200 CP’s or 1 GP. Wt. 10 lbs.
Rikaa Ingot (RI): Flat tin ingots from the Smelting Pits, as the Ginkul but worth 5 GP. Wt. 10 lbs.

Brewing/Distillation:
Vast sublevel Fungus Farms are cultivated and harvested by Scourge overseen Slaves. The fungi is collected and brought to the Central Brewery for use by the Swillers in their various concoctions and compounds. Fermentation tanks, copper distilleries, morelwood casks and barrels for aging, charcoal kilns, and various fire pits are all used to produce the masterfully crafted fungus byproducts.

Fungus Byproducts:
Lichen Brew: Pungent, bitter beer. Low alcohol content. For PC’s drinking: Upchuck chance (2in6). Heals 1d6 damage if ingested.
Toadstool Tonic: Intense, aged smoky liquor. High alcohol content. For PC’s drinking: Upchuck chance (3in6). Neutralizes poison if ingested.
Moss Wine: Super dry black wine. Medium alcohol content. For PC’s drinking: Upchuck chance (1in6). Cures or halts mental or physical maladies.
Mold Mix: Mortar for masonry.
Morelwood: Unique aged stone-morel, properties of very hard wood. Primarily used to create charcoal for fueling the smelting furnaces. Burns hotter, longer and cleaner than standard wood charcoal.
Capper: Poison. Used as an ingested Sleeping Powder on Troldes. Outright kills men in 1d6 rounds of hallucination and convulsions when used as a weapon coating.
Simmer: Cauterizes flesh, bubbles and froths when used. Allows Troldes to cleanse then sever burnt or acid blasted wounds to promote regeneration again. Causes a severe open wound to men.

Rat Husbandry:
Dim Troldes have perfected the art of Rat Husbandry. A particularly delectable strain of Rats, called Muumi, has been cultivated for centuries through stockbreeding, producing a plump, round, furry white rat, with a large snout and unusually large, almost quizzical eyes. They are tended by the ratherding Sloggers, overseen by the Great Tove in the heavily guarded Muumilaakso. In addition to the Muumi, the Great Tove oversees to the tending of sundry Rat strains which are raised for the less discerning palate. To non-Troldes, it all just tastes like Rat.

Food:
Muumi: (Rat): Served Stewed, Roasted, Broiled, Baked, Fried, Minced, Blackened, Spiced, Sautéed, Poached, Boiled, Pickled, Grilled, Fricasseed, in a Ball, on a Stick or the standard Rat Tartare.
Catch of the Day: Self-explanatory.

Raptor Husbandry:
Much in the way the Morkevagten have used stockbreeding through the ages to control Rat strains, they have been perfecting the crossbreeding of various subterranean bird-like theropod dinosaurs (Dromaeosauridae). Their ultimate achievement has been the Cave Raptor, a large strain bred to serve as a fighting mount for the Dim Trolde Seekers and Sentinels. An ongoing, difficult to master project for the Swagjags has been the Feathered Raptor. The Feathered Raptor’s purpose is to guard the Raptor Holes and their priceless eggs, but the little predators are prone to roving the upper areas of the caves seeking out prey. The Feathered Raptors will not attack Troldes, nor anyone in the presence of one, but have created much havoc over the years with their relentless bloodthirsty hunting tactics. The Swagjags might never learn to control the small man-eaters, but they seem to enjoy watching the fruits of their labor pitted against one another in Pit Fights, or shredding apart an intruder. Raptor Pit Fighting is an enjoyable spectator sport and gambling event for the Morkevagten.

Raptors:
Cave Raptor (Utahraptor): AC: 4, Move: 12, HD: 10, Damage 2d6. 10 feet long (20 with tail), 7 feet tall, and weighing about 1,500 lbs. Covered in dark brown feathers, with massive jaws, long tails and bird-like feet topped by a single massive curved hind-claw. Cave Raptors are trained to bite rather than use their formidable dagger like claws so as to not unsaddle their riders. These huge dinosaurs can trample opponents if able to charge into melee, causing 2d6 to all in a 5’ wide by 20’ long path. Save vs. Paralyze to avoid being bowled over and spending one round gaining footing.

Feathered Raptor (Velociraptor): AC: 2/7, Move: 18, HD: 2, Damage 1d3+special. 3 feet long (7 with tail), 2 feet high at the hip, and weighing about 35 lbs. Covered in grey and black feathers, with strong razor fang filled jaws, long thin tails and bird-like feet topped with a single sharp, curved hind-claw. Feathered Raptors are the ultimate hunters; fast moving, silent, sly, cunning and always hungry. They hunt in large packs, and work in unison to flush prey into ambushes, or simply overwhelm larger, slower moving targets with their vicious bites. The sharp hind-claws are normally used to puncture a target, pinning them in place, or allowing the Raptor to cling to the target as they lock their jaws down for the kill. Once a Feathered Raptor has hit a target, it will cling to it and deal 3 damage per round thereafter. Up to four of these murderous little predators can attack a man each round. Feathered Raptors are lightning quick, as reflected in their superior AC, which is reduced to 7 after they have locked their jaw in for a kill. Slain Raptors will have to be carefully removed from their prey by prying open those deadly jaws.

Trolde Titles:
7+3 HD variety
Sapper: Bronze workers
Slag: Metallurgists
Shylock: Sharks, Extortionists
Slaver: Slave Merchants
Slogger: Ratherders
Swiller: Fungus Farmers
Sketcher: Planners

8+3 HD variety
Scourge: Taskmasters
Stomper: Muscle
Swagjag: Raptorherders

9+3 HD variety
Seeker: Rangers
Sentinel: Heavy Knights
Scaggle: Crime Bosses
Svaerost: King of the Morkevagten

Non-Troldes:
Dagendreng (Agents): virtually any double-dealing, greedy, devious NPC can apply.


Feel free to borrow, copy, paste what have you. I think a damned fun dungeon level will spring forth from this information eventually.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Trolde

Last year, when I was kicking around ideas for the FO! dungeon The Darkness Beneath, I began to tinker around with ideas for one of the important denizens in Calithena's megadungeon, the Dark Trolls. One thing led to another, and I ended up with a few pages of notes on these monsters and their world beneath the surface. Afterwards I decided it was time I gave the venerable Troll a treatment of homebrew, so I went back and redefined the entire species. Admittedly, there is a very strong and intentional Gygax 1st Edition flavor given to these OD&D versions, but their primary heritage is Scandinavian mythology and folklore. With the renaming of many of the standard monsters in my growing Solstice/Dismal Depths work, Trolls became Troldes. I recently edited this piece and although I have no actual home for this information at this point, I thought it might be of interest here. Essentially, these are actually Trolls, but using the alternate spelling does serve to differentiate the Trolde from the standard TSR Troll.

Tomorrow I will copy the notes which were originally intended to be the Dark Trolls, and became the Morkevagten Dim Troldes. The Morkevagten are destined to have a major chunk of real estate in Ulin-Uthor, or perhaps some areas of The Dismal Depths.


Troldes

Troldes, also known as Throlls or Trolls, are repulsive abominations created from the essence of the earth by a long forgotten power of chaos and night. There are numerous types of these vile, preternatural monsters, including but not limited to the ones described here. Troldes share some common characteristics, most notably that males of their kind are best described as large, brutish, ugly humanoids with great strength, elongated ears, big noses, knuckle-dragging arms and thick earth tone hides. Amongst individual male Troldes one might find many other beastly peculiarities, including such things as tusks, scraggly or quill-like hair, cyclopic eyes, and splotchy hides with crags, bumps and warts.

Female Troldes are certainly the fairer members of the race, appearing as seductive women with normally hidden cow tails. Female Troldes come and go between the world of man and that of Troldedom. Often described as erotic seductresses, legends exist of female Troldes that have actually married men and become mortal, successfully hiding their true nature for the rest of their days. The more notorious female Troldes seduce men and take their seed back to Troldedom. Others abduct infants from mankind and likewise return them to the world of the Troldes. What becomes of these young humans is not known, but many societies of the land blame deviant behavior on Trolde upbringings. Troldespawn is an unflattering term used to describe the worst sorts of men. Female Troldes are rarely encountered alongside their male counterparts, being altogether elusive and virtually undetectable within Troldedom. Little is known of them and it is assumed that they are one with the earth, emerging only to reproduce or mingle with mankind.

Male Troldes will return to their natural state if bathed long enough in the light of day, turning to stone and losing their magical life-giving essence. The spirit of the now inanimate Trolde will return from whence it came, dead and gone forever. For this reason, male Troldes are either nocturnal or subterranean. As long as a Trolde is in contact with earth, be it soil, dirt, sand, rock or stone, its form will regenerate wounds at an astounding rate. Certain types of damage may not be thusly healed, such as wounds from acid, fire or lightning. Troldes are immune to damage from cold, whether it is natural or magical, but take extra damage from lightning. Wounds upon a Trolde dealt by stone, wood, bronze or even silver weapons will inflict reduced damage in all cases. Iron is the only metal which will cause a Trolde full damage, whether it is magical or mundane. Furthermore, Troldes despise iron, and are loathe to touch it.

Troldes have their own language, called Trolsprog, with a wide range of words which hold meaning only to their kind, owing partially to their acute olfactory senses. Trolsprog is noted for long S’s and hisses. Troldes can see naturally in the dark, and are only surprised on a roll of 1in12. Given the right circumstances, a Trolde can track down non-natives while in its own environs.

While Troldes are an unnatural union of earth, chaos and night, their kind consists of both young and old. The larger Mountain and Forest Troldes tend to be solitary, longer lived, and far less reproductive than the Mound and Dim Troldes. Mound and Dim Troldes exist in varying levels of clan based groups. Male Troldes are stooped and hunched. Their effective height is normally equal to their HD minus one in feet. A HD 7+3 Mound Trolde would be about 6 feet tall, a HD 10+3 Forest Trolde would be about 9 feet tall, both would be considerably taller if actually upright and vertical.

Haugtrolde (Mound Trolde): Chaotic, # Appearing: 3-12, AC: 6, Move: 12, HD: 6+3 to 8+3, Damage by weapon +1, Avg Int: 8. Troldes that tend to roam quite often, establishing new mound and tunnel homes, or returning to older ones as they continually expand their hunting grounds

Bjergtrolde (Mountain Trolde): Neutral, # Appearing: 1, AC: 3, Move: 9, HD: 9+3 to 11+3, Damage 2d6+2, Avg Int: 10. The largest of all Troldes, given to extended periods of hibernation in vast cavernous regions beneath and within mountains.

Skovtrolde (Forest Trolde): Neutral, # Appearing: 1, AC: 4, Move: 9, HD: 8+3 to 10+3, Damage 2d6+1, Avg Int: 9. Larger than their Mound and Dim cousins, these Troldes forge homes in deep, thick forests, and are prone to seasonal periods of hibernation

Uklartrolde (Dim Trolde): Chaotic, # Appearing: 2-12+, AC: varies, Move: 9, HD: 7+3 to 9+3, Damage by weapon +2, Avg Int: 11. Dim Troldes have a base AC 6, but most wear bronze lamellar or plate armor resulting in AC 5, 4 or even 3 if using a shield. These Troldes continually work toward carving out a permanent home deep in the underworld, to varying degrees of success.

Turn to Stone: Troldes will turn to stone and perish after 1 turn in full day light. After 5 rounds movement is reduced to one-half.
Immune to Cold: All forms cause 0 damage.
Non-iron weapons: Deal one-half damage to Troldes.
Iron weapons: Cause +1 damage when striking Troldes.
Attacks upon iron-armored targets: Troldes have a -1 penalty to hit such targets.
Lightning Damage: Causes +2 points per die against Troldes, and may not be regenerated.
Fire/Acid Damage: May not be regenerated.
Trolde Regeneration: Troldes begin to regenerate damage at a rate of 3/round at the beginning of the third round after damage has been sustained (for example, if a Trolde takes damage in round 2, it will start to regenerate as round 5 begins). Only acid, fire or lightning damage may not be regenerated. Trolde Regeneration continues unabated even if the monster is hacked to pieces. Unless the entire Trolde is burnt or exposed to acid, it will eventually rise up at full health. The various limbs and remains of a slain Trolde will either crawl back together and regenerate, or form a new body from the largest remaining piece. Severed parts seem to possess a will of their own, and will continue to grab, claw, bite or scuttle about independently during a conflict. Dim Troldes in particular are known to have devised methods for ensuring that their fallen are able to regenerate in a safe location.


Tomorrow watch for the Morkevagten Dim Troldes intended for a vast, as yet unmapped dungeon level in an upcoming adventure.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year 2009!

Happy New Year, one and all. Here's hoping that 2009 is the best yet for everyone. Inspired by Amityville Mike's list from last week, but with much less insight and forethought, here is my own list of gaming related resolutions for the upcoming year.

1. Complete The Upper Levels of The Dismal Depths: I feel that the heavy lifting is done here, now comes the actual map drawing and inking, then the compiling. I'll figure out how to merge all 12 maps, the Bestiary, and the one page Guide into a single file, create a PDF, and figure out what to do with it from there.

2. Consider revising and trimming down Ulin-Uthor, The Dim Expanse: While Ulin-Uthor will never be distilled down to the granularity of The Dismal Depths, I can certainly edit the existing work in order to dispense with much of the detail which has forced that project to the back burner. As my current gaming vehicle, The Dim Expanse might never reach a completed state, but hopefully in 2009 some section or the entire work will be finished and into PDF.

3. Finish Solstice as a Campaign Setting: Inspired by Geoffrey McKinney's Carcosa, I hope to actually finally settle on some union of Solstice, No Future and Walpurgis that will yield a unique setting which encompasses The Dismal Depths, Ulin-Uthor, and many other homebrew projects I've been working on this past year.

4. Finish the D&D Cover to Cover series: And from those notes and comments write an OD&D Companion. I'm currently on Volume 2, p. 31 with my re-reading of OD&D, so there is light at the end of that tunnel now. I've received so many excellent observations and comments from my readers that have forced me to reconsider how I approach this hobby that I feel something needs to be done with these words of wisdom. I might call it The White Box Companion or something. Hell, I don't see why I couldn't call it The Dungeons & Dragons Companion. It's clearly a review of the books, so I doubt there should be any fear of copyright infringment.

5. Finish Lower Caves of The Darkness Beneath: I've made great strides with this future submission to Fight On! My problem now is which direction do I take? Do I continue with the wordy, detailed writing that I've used thus far (one room is a full page of text) or do I take the buther knife of word economy to the whole thing and attempt to let readers sort out the many indepth themes within?

6. Attend some Cons: This is a must for me. I'm so removed from the living, breathing face to face aspect of D&D that it sometimes makes me wonder if I'm fooling myself. Besides, I wouldn't mind actually meeting some of the other members of this online old school renaissance in person one of these days.

7. Expand my face to face gaming circle: This goes hand in hand with the above resolution. Playing is an extrememly important facet of the referee design process. Given the far flung proximities of my old gaming crew, expanding my circle of players will help engender more real face to face gaming and learning.

8. Encourage my 14 year old to finish his dungeon: And then plunder it with my own Entourage. For so many reasons, I truly hope that my 14 year old son catches the D&D bug. I cannot even begin to list the ways in which this hobby has expanded my mind.

So there you have it. I'm sure I've left a few gaming projects off of this list, but the above resolutions would certainly constitute a very good year of gaming in 2009.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Realm of Unreason


Michael Curtis, aka Amityville Mike, in case you’ve been like me and fallen out of the blogo-loop of late, has started an excellent blog at The Society of the Torch, Pole and Rope.

One particular post Mike wrote made me revisit and remember why I returned to the gaming roots that allowed me to enjoy D&D way back when, before I started to become a ‘serious’ campaign and dungeon designer. I think my needless descent down the realism track started with an article by Richard Gilbert that I read in Best of The Dragon Vol. I at some point in the early 80’s. Something about the article, titled ‘Let There Be A Method To Your Madness’, rang true with me at the time, and I tired of certain players asking questions like, “This makes no sense, what do these monsters eat?” or “What are these Trolls doing here? Shouldn’t they be fighting the Ogres down the hall?”

From the early 80’s right on through almost all of my designs after that, I spent a lot of ‘behind the scenes’ work on history, plot, motives, rationale and logic. Each room had a purpose. Ecology and realism haunted my every step. Each map was an exercise in questions and answers. All of my dungeons, and there were scores of them over the years, were mission and plot driven, with a clear goal and a definite end. None were larger than three levels that I can recall, and few had more than twenty rooms per level (most were a dozen or so rooms and a big encounter at the end).

Toward the very end of my regular D&D days, before my old gaming crew matured, got jobs, and scattered across the state, my return to the roots began in a short lived mini-campaign I started. It was dubbed The Classic Campaign, and I promised the players that nothing more than AD&D 1e, just the DMG, PHB and MM, was going to be used. The campaign centered around the home brewed Tower of the Overlord. I didn’t know what a megadungeon was, but decided I would tackle a 10 level dungeon, that promised to see return visits and extensive play. Thus was born my largest dungeon right up until I began working on Ulin-Uthor.

This desire to play classic AD&D 1e, and this desire to construct a ten level campaign central dungeon stuck with me for years and years. When I returned to D&D earlier this year, I was delighted to find that there was indeed a sect of old school, dungeon crawl fans out there, and now I even had a term for the large dungeon I wished to focus a campaign around. All was well with the world.

As I dove into my design process for Ulin-Uthor, I basically had to unlearn all I had acquired through those long years after reading Mr. Gilbert’s article. A fine article it is, but why bother with all of this realism when building a dungeon? Realistically, who in their right mind would build down into the depths past maybe one, or even two levels in the earth? I realized to explain the inexplicable I had to engage illogic and embrace the absurd. Thus, Ulin-Uthor is intended to be nonsensical and downright weird. It’s part of the allure of the underworld, that the players are leaving the light of day behind and entering a dimension of mystery and a realm of unreason.

Now, I am able to crank out maps and encounters that I KNOW the players will enjoy while taking on the challenges therein and maintaining that sense of wonder that kept me so enthralled as a youth. What player truly wants to explore abandoned Barracks, Kitchens, Storage Rooms, and Water Closets? “Ho-hum, more cots, chests and empty weapon racks? Seems we’ve been here before.”

Sure, I do indeed have certain regions and areas that are filled with just such trappings, but for the most part, Ulin-Uthor is a departure from attempting to have a ‘method to my madness’. My madness shines when I dispense of the methods accepted as reality. Funky traps, weird tricks, things that go bump in the night, these are the things that make a dungeon fun for the players. There is a certain level of logic, but it’s underworld logic here, not the logic of man.

My greatest deficiency in dungeon design is leaving rooms empty. I have an almost insatiable need to fill every empty expanse of the dungeon. It’s something I’m working on. The point is that it’s OK if a room is nothing more than just that…a room.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Dim Expanse part X

This past week I have copied and pasted Info, Tables and a sneak peek for eight of the keyed areas found in the upper levels of Ulin-Uthor, The Dim Expanse. Here's some more information in regard to the megadungeon.

On the first level, those maps designated as Level One, there are seven seperate sheets of graph paper crammed with keyed areas. These maps constitute 288 keyed areas. Amongst them are rooms with a single sentence of description, and rooms such as The Gallery, which claims over two pages of information. No one has found The Gallery yet, and it's many mysteries and secrets might never been unlocked.

Aside from the Recurring Encounters, of which I have provided two such examples in the past week, few of the rooms have any actual monster descriptions. Once the dungeon is written, I use methods for filling it based upon the region and the Wandering Monsters Table. I've been using the simple OD&D method for stocking, and a system of index cards. Thus during play I have my printed sheets as shown this week, my hand drawn maps, and two card files with hand written index cards for monsters, treasure and a large stack of pre-rolled Wandering Monster encounters. When the dice call for a Wandering Monster, I simply mix up the cards and draw a random one.

I award experience immediately after the melee is concluded, but experience for gold will not be awarded until it is actually removed from the dungeon and brought back to town. I am mulling over the idea of 'on the spot' leveling, but since no one has earned enough experience to become 2nd Level as of yet, I haven't decided exactly how this will play out.

Ulin-Uthor currently consists of sub-regions; collections of dungeon levels with a particular theme or history. All of these fit together to form The Dim Expanse, and I strive to make sure they don't simply feel like seperate dungeons stapled together to form the larger picture. Thus I have included features that involve the regions with one another.

The regions are hinted at and talked about through rumors and local legend. They are Krawlspace, Lahromil's Demise, Hundred Pits, The City Below, The Weeping Caves and The Slumbering Vault. I have plans for more, as needed. In general terms, each region encompasses two levels (aside from Krawlspace which is more or less a sub-region of Lahromil's Demise). Thus, the lowest level of The Slumbering Vault is Level 10 in the dungeon. There are currently six entrances into Ulin-Uthor, each ranging from well-known to forgotten. There will be more as I continue to write the megadungeon.

The Donjon, which I will need to revise and rewrite, can be accessed through Level 10, and for now will be the bottom of Ulin-Uthor proper. More than likely The Donjon will connect in some way to deeper, darker mysteries below. The Donjon is my old homage to S1, Tomb of Horrors.

Here's a little blurb I wrote up to aid me in keeping track of time during actual play:

Time in Dim X

The Hourglass:
Movement and searching turns should be tracked using a large d6 and a large d10, called The Hourglass. Every time the d6 changes from 6 to 1, an hour has passed. Make a record of 1 hour’s passing by moving the d10 by 1 to track the hours spent. Thus The Hourglass indicates time spent underground in hours and turns. Once 10 hours have been recorded, it is important to keep track of further time spent underground, as the party will now be subject to penalties from becoming taxed or heavily taxed.

Searching:
Searching requires 1 full turn. An individual PC may search a specific 10’x10’ area in a turn. Thus, a party of 6 could search 6 separate 10’x10’ areas in 1 turn. Searching also includes the actions involved with opening locks, breaking down doors, extricating a PC from a pit, exploring the contents of a detailed room, etc. These turns must also be timed on The Hourglass.

Movement:
Party movement through Ulin-Uthor will be measured in turns, using the slowest party member’s movement rate.


The dice I use for The Hourglass are large and sit off to my left during play. The ease of using a d6 and a d10 for tracking time has enabled me to remember when to check for Wandering Monsters, and to easily note the time spent delving the depths.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Dim Expanse part IX

Two more pasted rooms from my Dim Expanse files. Both have been ventured through by the first party to set foot in Ulin-Uthor. The first example is a risk-reward area that sits in a junction of sorts, so it has been traversed a number of times during play. Thus far it has been nothing more than a nuisance as PC's scamper through it. The Magic User member of the party risked life and limb twice trying to figure out exactly how to claim the large tome, to no avail. I'll probably change the magic command word in the future.

7: The Flying Books. This large, dusty room has a 20’ high ceiling and is stocked with leather bound books, numbering in the hundreds, sitting upon shelves lining the walls. At the room’s center are various dilapidated pieces of furniture. A few dusty old books are scattered about on the floor. The books are all enchanted, and when someone enters the center of the room, books will begin to shake, kicking up dust and falling from the shelves with a thud. Then, the books will begin to ‘flap’ their covers, and will soon flit about, clumsily taking flight. Seemingly harmless at first, the books will begin to gain momentum. Within a few rounds, the room is filled with flying books, colliding into each other, and the walls, and anyone still in the room. Small squeaky voices in various languages begin to demand “Read me!” “No, ME!” “I’m more interesting!” “I’ve a better plot” “I have fancy drawings!” etc. Every round after the books reach speed, a character will have to save vs. PoD or suffer 1 damage from a book. One particularly huge tome flies slowly about the room. There is a 1 in 10 chance of taking a hit from this book, inflicting 2 damage instead of 1. All of the books reset if no one is within the room, or if the command “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” or any variation thereof is uttered. When the command is used, all flying ceases for 1 full day. Only the large tome will allow itself to be opened, and NONE of the books may be removed from the room (they fly back).

The singular large tome is actually a spell book. It contains: Shield, Sleep, Charm, Magic Missile, Knock, Mirror Image, Web, Dispel Magic, Hold Person, Confusion, Polymorph Self, and Hold Monster.


Lastly, another example of a Recurring Encounter. In Solstice, Goblins are spawned from the very chaos of the underworld, and this area is the result of a failed experiment by some long forgotten Magic User.

20: Goblins Gone Bad! Rooms 20-21 are crawling with the basest form of Goblin spawning, a failed experiment having produced these virtually mindless, violent Goblins. The Goblins Gone Bad are all stooped mottled yellow and orange and each seems to have some sort of defect; no mouth, one eye, ears in wrong place, three arms, two heads, etc. The entire area is demolished and collapsed due to the GGB clawing at the walls, slinging rocks, bashing one another, or anything that moves. Their number is constantly replenished at the Spawning Pit in 21. GGB will not attack on sight, but rather each round when PC’s are within 20-21, there is an accumulative 1 in 6 chance of an attack, reaching 6 in 6 by round 6. Once GGB attack, another GGB will join in at a rate of 1 per round. There are a total of 60 in this area, milling about, crying, screaming, bashing the walls, clawing the floors, fighting one another, and just behaving like GGB. See 21 for spawn rates. All GGB are as follows:

Goblin Gone Bad (60) (AC 9, HD 1-1, Damage 1d3, HP always 3).

Since there are seven areas in which the GGB are milling about, assume that each room has 5 + 1d6 GGB when entered, with room 23 rounding out the number to 60 total. If a long melee ensues, GGB from other rooms will certainly be attracted and join the fray, but only one at a time as noted.


The low level Recurring Encounters allow a Referee to control the level of difficulty if he chooses, and can certainly provide for a nice rolling melee. This particular area provided some heroic moments for the PC's, and some very close calls as it ended with a full and hasty retreat.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Dim Expanse part VIII

The next two copied and pasted rooms have hosted a group run by my 14 year old Son, but not the current group. As such their location remains a mystery to the current party. The first is more for flavor and foreshadowing than anything else, and allows the Referee a certain measure of descriptive narrative.

2: The Viewing Gallery. Large chamber, to the south is a balcony overlooking room 3. There are nine carved stone contraptions here. Basically a pedestal with a roughly cubical carved shape, with two ‘eyeholes’ for viewing. Carved into each is a coin slot for activating the contraption. Each is a magic Viewatron. If a GP is deposited into the slot, the Viewatron is activated, and a faint glow can be seen coming from the eyeholes. Each GP allows 3 rounds of viewing. The view is dimly glowing, illuminating even the darkest areas, but only for the viewer. The GP drops down into a repository on level 2A, but cannot be recovered from here.

The Scenes:
1 - Ghoul Pit. Tons of Ghouls.
2 - Gargoyle Lord. Perched over a pile of coins.
3 - Large eating, sleeping or prowling Albino Ape.
4 - The Pit Goblin Hound Master, with Hell Hounds.
5 - Wrecked room with a stagnant pool and Owlbears.
6 - Cave with a pile of coins. Sometimes a Minotaur with a glowing Axe appears.
7 - A carved stone throne, a Troll wearing a crown is counting gems.
8 - Wrecked area, rubble. 1 in 6 chance that a Vampire passes scene carrying a victim.
9 - A haunting scene! The being viewed is aware when being watched. A large, fat grotesque man will motion to his vast treasure trove of coins, gems and chests, then beckon the viewer while laughing.


The next room provided some fun chase scenes for the group. It's my first posted example of a room type I have included throughout Ulin-Uthor thus far: Recurring Encounters. I have many examples of this, not limited to Skeletons, but including Goblin Spawning, Undead Stirring, Insect Nests, Rat Infestations, etc.

15: Strange Temple. This gigantic room has a 25’ high ceiling and consists of a large pool of foul liquid, covered with a thick layer of disgusting greenish brown growth. The north half of the Temple has a balcony like area, which overlooks the pool, supported by a dozen stone pillars, reachable by a pair of iron ladders mounted on the north wall. Old faded stucco, falling off or broken off for the most part, covers the walls and ceiling. It is faded beyond recognition. The floor is dusty and musty large granite slabs, now quite uneven and loose. The railing on the balcony overlooking the pool has a small swinging gate at it’s center. The liquid in the pool is 15’ deep, and is filled with hundreds upon hundreds of Goblin skeletons (if some enterprising group desired to empty this pool, figure there are 350 here). Every round in the Temple, there is a 1 in 6 chance of a Skeleton emerging from the pool, and this chance increases by 1 for each accumulative round spent here, so if 6 rounds are spent here, a Skeleton will emerge each round. Skeletons are all Goblin sized (each has 4 HP), and unarmed (dealing only 1d4 damage), and will happily pursue throughout the dungeon, but they will stop emerging if the Temple is empty. The chance for a Skeleton emerging is ‘reset’ once the Temple is empty. Skeletons turned by a Cleric leap back into the pool (unless destroyed).

Temple Skeleton (unlimited) (AC 7, HD 1-1, Damage 1d3, HP always 3, sharp weapons cause only 1 damage).

The west and east walls of the Temple Balcony are lined with old stone benches, beneath which are storage areas (20 in all) that can be searched. The north door, located under the balcony level, is locked tight, and stuck with age.


As always, questions or comments welcome, and these rooms can certainly be easily lifted and dropped into your own dungeons.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Dim Expanse part VII

Another pair of rooms copied and pasted from my files for UU-KS-1F. The Mermaid Fountain proved deadly once, and did save one other hapless PC from imminent death. When it was encountered, there was a group of adventuring Kobolds here in the room, arguing over who should test the water. None of them did, and they parleyed with the player group before moving on, leaving the PC's to their own devices. The fountain itself and how it functions is not an original idea, but the graffiti and the fact that it will still heal even if ingested threw the PC's off a bit.


15: The Mermaid Fountain: At the center of this chamber is a large 10’ diameter fountain, with the statue of a mermaid at it’s center, with water burbling forth from a large vessel which she holds with both arms. There is some old graffiti on the south wall, scrawled very sloppily in Kobold, it reads “These waters heal wounds”, and written beneath in another hand it reads, “So drink deeply, but only from the falling water.” This is in fact a fountain of healing waters, but…the waters function as a topical healing liquid, to be applied externally. If anyone drinks the water from the fountain, they will need to save vs. poison or die. When applied to a wound or upon the flesh (including drinking, which still necessitates a save), the water will heal 2d4 damage. The fountain may only be used once per day per individual, and the water will only retain it’s power for one day if removed from the fountain. There are two secret doors in this room. The north secret door is opened by depressing a button located within the vessel held by the mermaid, and the south secret door is opened by depressing a loose stone in the wall nearby.

This next room allowed me to have some fun. Heckler was inspired by a character in the movie The Last Unicorn, and allowed me to role play in an effort to rile the PC's by questioning their abilities. The group ended up dragging a slain Giant Spider back here to feed the mold. They figured out the twist here, but never traversed the room.

17: Moldy Mess: This room is rank, musty and damp. The walls, floor and ceiling are covered in a layer of putrid brown and black mold, 1’ thick. A clear track is ‘cut’ through the room, running from the south entrance to the east hall, a full 3’ wide. It clearly reveals the locations of both secret doors, and from this direction the doors are plainly visible due to opening and closing. In the north west corner of the room, clean of all mold, is a stone pedestal, 7’ high, atop of which is a skeleton, named Heckler. Heckler will taunt and laugh at those who enter this room. Heckler will tell the PC’s that they are doomed, that they are going to become so much insect food soon, that they are fools for walking on the clearly trapped path, and that the mold is safer. Heckler is attached to the pedestal, and may not be dislodged. Heckler may be conversed with once he tires of his teasing and taunting. Heckler explains that if the PC’s desire any of his knowledge, they must return to him with a sack of freshly killed flesh, of any sort, that they can feed to his pet. Heckler’s ‘pet’ is the mold in this room, which does indeed eat flesh at a rate of 1 hit point per round. The mold is immune to all elements except Cold, which causes it to recede and dissipate slowly. Flaming oil is doused, as are torches inserted into the mold. If the PC’s do return with meat for the mold, Heckler will tell them to strew it about into the mold and then he will answer their questions. During the feeding, Heckler will seemingly be in a state of bliss. Heckler’s ‘talking’ is actually the manifestation of the sentient mold within this room, and it knows nothing of the dungeon. Heckler will laugh at the PC’s and tell them “I am still hungry, fools!”…”Oooops I mean my pet is still hungry …”. Heckler’s purpose is to lure food into the mold.

Heckler will likely make another appearance deeper in Dim X, but next time in a Dunking Tank of sorts.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Dim Expanse part VI

Here are two copied and pasted rooms which the current adventuring group has encountered. These are copied directly from my own files and as such may not make sense to readers. Questions are welcome, and of course as always these can be lifted and deposited directly into your own dungeons.


39: The Fourteen of Smithereen: This entire section of hall, lined at 10’ intervals with 10’ alcoves, is choked full with a thick, damp, silver mist which reduces vision to but five feet. The center of the hall is painted with a dimly glowing gold ‘path’ which runs from one end of this area to the other. Within each alcove, indicated as A-N, is a 6’ tall ‘statue’ of iron, each depicting an Orc. The Fourteen of Smithereen is an infamous band of Orcs which served the evil anti-cleric who built the Temple of Hizvhanus (The Terrible Temple). The Fourteen were aided by Hizvhanus as they came to power lower, deeper in Ulin-Uthor. Worshippers of Hizvhanus were required to walk the path through this area and pay tribute to each of the Orcs depicted here. All metallic items exposed to the silvery mist will emerge from the hall coated in sparkling glitter which will render said item ‘+0 Magic’ for 6 turns, or until washed/scraped off. Now the hall is simply a good ambush site for denizens of the dungeon. If each statue is checked, they do all indeed have names, written in Orcish, engraved on bronze plaques at their bases.

A- Helnma, B- Dlogvel, C- Sovs, D- Ulcyad, E- Namthar, F- Nolg, G- Pucp, H- Trifles, I- Lestrelmar, J- Thrwig, K- Trotep, L- Thims, M- Zenglert, N-Anbwom.



40: The Cartogropher’s Crypt: In the center of this large room is a huge pile, some 15’ around and 6’ high, of charred, burnt wood debris from some huge fire. The ceiling of the room is sooty black from smoke, and the entire place reeks of cinder and ash. This one time crypt has had all of it’s contents piled in the center and set to flame. There is a unique spirit within this room, that of the long dead mapmaker Trebor. Trebor had some hand in the construction and design of Krawlspace, and was then put to death and buried here so that he might take his secrets to the grave. By some twist of fate, Trebor’s spirit rose from the dead, whether it was days, years or decades later, his spirit woke to tell his secrets to those who might find this cursed place. Trebor is invisible and cannot communicate in any way other than using pieces of charcoal to write scribbled messages or draw maps upon the walls here. When the PC’s enter, there is a 1in8 chance that Trebor will be drawing a Map, otherwise his spirit is resting and gathering his energy to continue his work. Trebor seems to be oblivious to visitors, and it requires a great deal of effort for the spirit to be able to pick up and draw with the bits of burnt wood here. Furthermore, oftentimes denizens or visitors will arrive, and erase his markings from the walls. Upon finding this room, the PC’s will discover one of six possible maps which Trebor has worked on, and each subsequent visit, another of the maps will be found, determined randomly. Roll 1d8 below to see what Trebor has drawn:

1 - Map 1, 2 - Map 2, 3 - Map 3, 4 - Map 4, 5 - Map 5, 6 - Map 6, 7-8 - Roll 1d6 twice for two Maps.

These maps are to be drawn on index cards for live play, filed under Trebor‘s Maps, and if using screen monkey may be drawn/saved as maps there as well.

Any words written by Trebor will be associated with the Map indicated.

The secret door to the west is particularly difficult to open and will require a pry bar.


~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Dim Expanse part V


Today I'm sharing some long overdue insight into my ongoing megadungeon project, Ulin-Uthor aka The Dim Expanse. Below I am simply pasting two passages that were typed 'for my eyes only' while creating this dungeon. The first is the Info portion, and then the level specific Wandering Monsters Table. Aside from a handful of areas, Krawlspace truly was filled using the OD&D method, and my oft-referenced index card system.

I'll be sharing actual room descriptions after I set the table with this post. Everything I offer in these 'behind the scenes' posts are the actual copy and pastes. I'm interested to see what people take from this and if the descriptions make sense at all to other readers. I've found myself grappling over my own notes years later when I didn't write up an encounter well enough...wondering what my intent was years ago and being unable to remember what my notes meant. Hopefully Dim X will prove to be clear and concise so as not to lose those little inspirations for the individual rooms.

Ulin-Uthor

The following information is a description of the rooms and features of UU-KS-1E. For information about other encounters and treasure located within, see the index card files.

Krawl’s Pace (aka Krawlspace, and Kraw’s Place) Level 1E

The entire dungeon is filled with Vermin Holes. These holes impinge upon the map in many numerous areas, too many to count, and come in the form of holes in the floor or walls, as well as cracks and slits through the very stone, on any surface. Behind these holes is a vast complex network of vermin tunnels used by centipedes, rats, beetles and any of the other vermin encountered in this dungeon. They are so common, in fact, that to key them is pointless. Suffice to say that they are a part of the construction of Ulin-Uthor as a whole. Whenever a party asks about them, they will in fact see one, or remember having recently seen one and thought nothing of it. If they continue to seek them out, or prod at them, have some vermin emerge to devour the curious adventurers.

Doors in KS. Unless otherwise noted, all doors are standard heavy treated oak, bound with iron and reinforced with iron rivets. Handles are all simple push down latches, which for the most part will open just by pushing (or pulling) upon the door (the latches are rather old) and open ‘out’ into the hall. Doors are thick and heavy, with an interior rod inset to floor and ceiling rather than being hinged. If a door is locked, it will be noted. All doors are counterbalanced and will shut unless blocked or spiked open.

Secret Doors are stone, pivoting types that are counterbalanced and will close unless blocked. Most such doors need to be triggered to open.

Construction is of intermingled shaped stone, stacked and mortared. Ceilings are 10’ high unless otherwise noted. Height of the natural caves/roughed out areas varies from 12’-15’ unless otherwise noted.

Many of the rooms on this level are designed with the author’s intent of using the OD&D dungeon stocking guide in Vol. III, p. 6-8. Nip-Nak and Kraw are old school Bumbles, and prefer a very basic challenge for adventurers in their area of Krawlspace.

Using the guide as presented, it details placing the most important treasures manually, with or without guardians, and then simply dicing for the rest of the rooms. We’ll see how the OD&D system works out here on Level 1E.

2in6 equals a Monster. These will be random from the list of Wandering Monsters I have created for Krawlspace Wandering Monster index cards. Next, roll again for each room, 3in6 means there is treasure in those rooms with Monsters, and 1in6 means there is treasure in those rooms which are empty.

I have fine tuned the OD&D rules, and these new rules are in the Solstice Core Rules, and will be used, probably throughout Ulin-Uthor.

As I restock this level, I will maintain this approach and possibly even dice the empty rooms ‘on the fly’.

The following rooms will not be diced using the random method:

4: Skeletons
18, 19: Swarms
21: Giant Centipedes
40, 41: Sentinels
42, 43: No Wandering Monsters
49-52: Pack Rats

That leaves 41 rooms to dice.


Here's the blurb for the Activity and Wandering Monsters Tables:

Ulin-Uthor

Activity Table and Wandering Monsters (adjust # encountered based on party size)

The Activity Table is used as a guide to randomly determine exactly what monsters encountered within the dungeon are doing at the time the group approaches. It is to be used as an optional guide, and as a handy tool when a character is perhaps sneaking ahead of the group in order to scout, or even as a method to determine what noise might be heard from behind a dungeon door.

Activity Table (roll d12)
1 - Sleeping (fast asleep)
2-3 - Resting (not asleep, but taking a break and silent)
4-5 - Eating (another Wandering Monster maybe)
6-7 - Making Noise (doing some noisy activity, talking, gambling, etc)
8-10 - Ambushing (lying in wait for dinner)
11 - Fighting (each other if more than one)
12 - Combat (engaged with another Wandering Monster)

Wandering Monsters: Once every other Turn, check with 1d6. A roll of ‘6’ indicates a Wandering Monster. There is a 1in10 chance that the monsters have been stumbled upon by the adventurers. In which case this should be treated as a standard encounter, with sighting distance of 2d4x10 feet, and both sides roll for surprise. The rest of the time, the monsters are pursuing the adventurers, and only the adventurers need to check for surprise. If not surprised, sighting distance is 2d4x10 feet, if surprised (2in6 chance) sighting distance is 1d3x10 feet.

Krawlspace (roll d12)
1: Swarm, 1@1HD
2: Pack Rats, 1
3: Giant Centipedes, 3d6
4: Giant Beetles, 2d4
5: Giant Spider, 1
6: Skeletons, 2d6
7: Zombies, 1d6
8-9: Kobolds, 2d6: 1d6x5 SP, 1d6 GP each.
10: Bandits, 1d6+1 Leader: 1d6x5 SP, 1d6 GP each.
11: Goblins, 1d6+1, 1d6x5 SP, 1d6x5 GP each. Random Red, Yellow or Orange.
12: Special (either NPC or Visitor from Hundred Pits)



Next up, as promised, I'll paste some rooms that have seen actual live play, then it's onto some of the rooms not yet used (so if you're a player in Of Fortunes & Fools, this info is subject to change 'on the fly').

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Post Script: I just realized that the current group is actually on UU-KS-1F, not 1E. The rooms I'm featuring in the upcoming posts are actually found on 1F!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Session One Report

Session One ended early Sunday morning. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it, the game was rolling along and keeping me so tied up in things I forgot to get pix of live play, OR of the post game table! We kept pushing for just ‘one more room’ to the point that my Wife had to come remind me to fire up the grill a few times.

I allowed players to show up ‘anytime before 5 PM’, so we had a rolling start which allowed me to help each player get his Primary Character and Loyal Follower written and geared up. I related an abridged version of the campaign intro, dumped them at the entrance to Dim X, and began describing the old worn spiral stone steps that lead down into Room 1 of Krawlspace, the upper level of that megadungeon.

Aside from the break to grill and serve food, we played from 5:30 PM to almost 2:30 AM Sunday morning. Roughly eight hours of old school D&D fun. This translated to two separate excursions into Dim X, the first lasted for six hours of dungeon crawling campaign time, with a break in between, and a second excursion which didn’t last long, under two hours of campaign time before they retreated to rest, and we called the game just before 2:30.

We had a new guest player, one cancellation, one late arrival, and two no-shows. The party managed to maintain a decent size, running with from seven to ten characters the entire session. Between the methodical, thorough veteran approach to dungeon crawling that was used, and some excellent early dice rolling, the players did very well, and avoided any major calamities. There were two character deaths, three characters reduced to -1 HP, and one who was poisoned, reacted quickly, made two dice rolls, and was lucky to be ‘revived’.

The mix of characters was not what I had expected. Apparently Kobolds and Barbarians are very popular! Of the 12 player characters created Saturday, there were three Kobolds and three Barbarians. Only one Elf, and NO Dwarves! The racial breakdown was Humans: 6, Kobolds: 3, Hobbits: 2, Elves 1, Dwarves: 0 (and Fauns: 0). Not what I had expected. Here’s the other shocker to me; no one played a Cleric. Seems like old times.

Everyone was very enthusiastic and aside from some unavoidable slow moments during game play, a good time was had by all. It was one of those sessions where you KNEW that if we were teenagers back in the early 80’s, we would’ve played right through until Dawn. But alas, players have families and Sunday plans, so I think playing until almost 2:30 AM was quite a surprise (especially considering a few of them drove over an hour to get here). I sent the players home well fed and satisfied, and we talked about arranging the details for the next game day.

Here’s a scan of the player map thus far:


I decided to hand out experience immediately after it was earned, so after each encounter, I told the party the total experience which was to be divided equally. Most of the encounters were of the Wandering Monster variety.

Within the first room the party found a Bumble named Nozzle, and his Welcome Inn; an extra-dimensional tavern of sorts, with a warm fireplace, cots, and a seemingly endless supply of free stew, ale, tea and biscuits. After some serious paranoid role-playing, the characters partook in the services provided. Kobold Henchmen were available for hire, but no one could afford any at that time. The Bumbles are the stewards of Krawlspace, they clean halls, remove corpses, reset traps, and make the entire place inviting for adventurers. What these Gnomes receive from all of their efforts is not known, and they remain just another mystery and oddity of Dim X.

The Northernmost set of rooms, The Terrible Temple, took up a large portion of the day, as it involves swiveling fountains, levers, evil clones of the characters, and a large rift from which 1d4 Vile Spirits emerge each round while living beings are within the temple proper. The whole system of levers and swiveling fountains is rather complex, but ultimately pitted one character against the clone of another character, trapped alone in one of the side rooms.

The party also found The Cartographer's Crypt; a room within which the restless spirit of the dungeon’s architect exacts his revenge upon his former masters by attempting to reveal the dungeon’s secrets via crude drawings and messages on the wall (which are constantly wiped clean by the stewards within).

One major battle was in the room entitled The Pool and the Predator, a secret chamber guarded by a Gargoyle. This beast slew one character, and rendered two others unconscious. Just prior to this encounter the party had slowly made their way through a long niche filled hall choked with dense, silvery mist (called the Fourteen of Smithereen due to the fourteen mysterious iron statues in those niches, each of an Orc with a strange name). Upon exiting, they found themselves caked in this silvery glitter like residue. Little did they realize at the time that this mist temporarily enchants all metal to +0 magic. A few of the characters declared that they were spending a couple turns cleaning it all off. Once they faced the Gargoyle, and realized that it was only struck by magic items, they were second guessing that decision. Nevertheless, one of the characters rendered unconscious in that melee dropped his silvery glitter covered Battle Axe, which was taken up by no less than two others as they finally dispatched the Gargoyle in this melee which was probably very close to turning into a total party kill.

Within that room the characters found their first treasure trove. It was a hard won pay-off, to be sure. One dead, two unconscious.

Another difficult melee, with a few scares, was a simple roaming pack of Zombies. That was the final encounter, after which the party licked their wounds and we called it a night.

Rooms encountered and left for later were the Moldy Mess chamber, with the annoying skeleton named Heckler; and No Moss, a chamber with a huge 15 ton round boulder which clearly rolled around (due to the recessed tracks of it’s various paths).

One other room of note, in which the party encountered a group of Kobolds arguing about who would drink from The Mermaid Fountain, produced two interesting moments. Graffiti on the wall read “These waters heal wounds” and below “So drink deeply, but only from the falling water”. The assumption was then that drinking the spouting water would heal you. One of the Barbarians, reduced to a single HP after a nasty pitfall, decided to do just that, and drink from the falling water. All of his wounds were instantly healed, but he missed his save vs. poison, and dropped dead on the spot. Interestingly, one of the players had a fast burst of inspiration when his loyal follower has poisoned by a Giant Spider just before entering The Terrible Temple. The character snatched up the Hobbit’s body, rushed him back to the magical fountain, and put his mouth under the falling water. I gave him a % chance to survive the poison based on his CON of 8 (he rolled 05), AND he needed to save vs. poison to survive the fountain. Both rolls were made, and the player earned the only Style Point of the day, for quick thinking under pressure.

All in all I am satisfied with the session, and I am looking forward to future dungeon crawls within Dim X. One thing’s for sure, at this rate I have enough dungeon made up for a very, very long time.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Dim Expanse part IV


The Dim Expanse part IV

Ulin Uthor, in Dwarven, translates roughly to ‘The Dim Expanse’. Within these depths, the so called ‘Deep Down’, the very laws of the world of man become lost and forgotten. The Dim Expanse is a connection between realities, that of mankind, and that of unreason. This series of articles will detail certain facets of Ulin Uthor while I am continuing to plan and design the mega dungeon.



In my cheeky introduction to Adventuring Obstacles, I used a quick analogy showing why simply rolling dice to avoid these various challenges is a no-no. Such an approach leads to meta-gaming, where the numbers take over, and mean more than the game itself.

I find fault with the original Thief concept, and theorized that the class, introduced in Supplement I, Greyhawk, has led modern D&D down a narrow, meta-gaming path. To the point where many players think in terms of numbers and charts rather than actual role-playing logic. Changing in a manner which helps support my Empty Room Principle.

To this end, I am attempting to take my own advice and stop hiding traps quite as cleverly. Even the best hidden traps in Ulin Uthor will have some tell-tale sign as to their presence.

Consider this, you are slowly walking through unexplored subterranean tunnels, known to be inhabited by the foul denizens of the Deep Down. Vigilant and wary, you have naught but a pair of dimly lit torches amongst you and your fellow delvers to light your way. At best, the lighting is flickering, shadowy and faint. Even a wide open pit in the tunnel ahead could take you by surprise. Some diabolical contraption on the ceiling overhead might go unnoticed amidst the shadows above. A somewhat crudely hidden pit, on the other hand, could certainly present a true threat. A trip-wire or a loose flooring stone might be nearly impossible to notice before tripping off it’s accompanying trap.

All of this is presuming that the delvers are indeed proceeding cautiously through the labyrinthine passages. If the delvers are in pursuit, or worse yet, taking flight through as of yet unexplored corridors or rooms, even plainly obvious traps might not be spotted in time.

The upper levels of Ulin Uthor are littered with pit traps, and trapped false doors. Depending upon the prevailing circumstances and the actions of the players, these may or may not yield clues warning of their imminent danger. I don’t necessarily need to include such clues in the keyed descriptions of the mega dungeon. Besides, many areas and levels of The Dim Expanse have stewards who routinely clean up such clues and warnings. Other traps within the mega dungeon have already had obvious clues written into the description. For example, scorch marks on the walls or floor, or pock marks and heavy etching near traps which release fire or acid.

An innocent pair of crossbow bolts, sunk into a dungeon wall, speaks volumes now. Perhaps it’s a clue that some trap trigger is nearby, or perhaps it’s simply the remnants of some melee fought within these walls in the past. This is not to say that as a referee, when designing your campaign, that you need to detail each and every trap in some complicated, logical manner within your written descriptions. If you enjoy such things, by all means it’s possible. I typically assume a loose floor stone trigger for traps that ‘fire’, a pull chain or spring mechanism on doors and chests, and counter-balanced trap doors above my pits. The level of detail and variety is left to the referee, to be preplanned, or invented on the spot.

This flexibility allows the referee to play D&D in an open-ended manner. The flow of the game and the decision making process is squarely upon the referee’s shoulders, and not determined by a roll of the dice. At times, the referee will certainly use dice to determine if the players have indeed seen such clues, but this is not determined by any hard and fast rules, classes, or abilities of the characters. It’s simply another story-telling feature in the referee tool kit, much like a Wandering Monster table, or ad-libbing.

Is this approach not in keeping with true old school OD&D? Perhaps not. In reading the LBB, one certainly gets the impression that the referee is often designing his dungeons in the most devious manner possible. Traps with no warning, save or die situations abound, merciless teleport and sloping traps intended to pit the delvers against overwhelming odds. All of this is fine, so if your particular campaign hosts players who are up to the task, go for it. In my experience, though, after the 15th unavoidable pit trap, the players begin to lose that feeling of realism, and the traps turn into an ‘exploration tax’, if you will.

Imagine if every Monster, or group of Monsters in your game sessions were invisible, silent teleporters, able to surprise the player characters upon each and every encounter. That would certainly get old after a while. Traps are no different. When you think of them in the same way that you consider encounters, this approach begins to make much more sense.

At times, you might want certain traps, or tricks, to be unavoidable. Teleport fields, for example. Such obstacles are perfectly fine, as they aren’t always directly dealing damage. Rather, these unavoidable features are waylaying and rerouting the delvers. Things like invisible death rays are perfectly fine, if you go for that sort of thing. Personally, I’d toss a few corpses in their path, though. Might the delvers still stumble into danger? You bet. At least there was a warning of some sort. Thinking along these lines allows the referee to dial the devious knob up or down, depending upon the situation. It’s all about referee control.

Whether you allow the Gygaxian Thief class or not, this obvious traps design theory will still engender more role-playing scenarios and critical thinking on behalf of your players. If a player in my campaign yearned to have a character who was mechanically adept, and well versed in the detection and removal of such devices, I would concede. Perhaps an Explorer class, or a Delver class. Something that a Dwarf might excel at, at the expense of combat prowess. Nevertheless, this character would NEVER be able to simply roll dice to detect, and roll dice to remove abstract, non-descript traps within Ulin Uthor. Such a character would need to role-play, and tell me what, how and why before attempting to get some class related bonus in his efforts to disable my traps.

Here are two examples from Ulin Uthor:

A standard pit trap, with a pair of counter-balanced trap doors. This pit has a pressure plate at it’s bottom, which when activated, causes the trap doors to close, resetting the trap. Pretty standard fare. Now, let’s say a NPC adventurer fell into this pit recently. His adventuring mates, in their efforts to free their companion, attempted to pry open the stout trap doors using a spear. The spear broke, and the spear head is still firmly wedged into the edge or center of the trap doors. How obvious is this? That’s up to the referee. Also, it leads to other ad-lib possibilities…is the adventurer still there? Why was he left? Is he still alive? Worse yet, has he been turned into a Zombie?

A dead end hall after a turn in the passage greets the delvers. A recessed niche in the wall at the end of the dead end hall, 30’ beyond, houses a small iron lever. The lever is in the ‘up’ position. Both walls of the 30’ hall leading to the lever have a thin crust of decaying flesh, splintered bone, and matted hair. There is a distinct odor of rotted flesh here. How obvious these clues are is up to the referee. Levers are almost always too tempting to leave alone. I often go a little ‘lever crazy’ at times. Is this a typical crushing wall trap? Is there some reward for pulling the lever? Is there some Deep Down denizen snacking on the remains of slain delvers here? Is this such an obviously deadly trap that the delvers had better just leave it alone altogether? You’ll have to enter Ulin Uthor and steady your hand to pull that lever and find out.

I really enjoy such risk/reward type obstacles. Sometimes there is no reward, of course. What there certainly is NOT is a Thief reaching for his dice when he encounters such a hall. The real reward is for the players to stop and think, and for the referee to enjoy watching the interaction he has instigated with this obvious trap.

~Sham, Quixotic Referee

The inspiration for this post is completely credited to Ben at Ars Ludi. I apologize for not giving him due credit originally. ~Sham.